In Waiting

I'm angry and tired and flustered and lost
I can't make sense of my life.
My hopes and my dreams, they've all turned into dust
I'm wandering if I'll survive.
Elated one moment depressed in the next
My brain's a machine that will never find rest
My heart won't stop thumping and pounding my chest
In panic my sanity's put to the test

STOP! No, PUSH! WAIT!
You've gotta let go now, it's already late
Hold on to your dreams Wadz, it's never too late
But it's late, But it's not, But it's not in your Power,
Cling on to your sanity for just one more hour...


I wrote this poem at a time when I was going through a lot emotionally (in case you hadn't noticed), and spiritually. I desperately wanted to trust in God and put all my faith in Him, but waves of panic periodically washed through me and all I really could do was just wait. In His own perfect timing and love, God gave me  incredible community, the courage to trust and pray, and He came through for me, and I can now read this poem as a reflection of a "darkest hour before the dawn."

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6